Now that we’ve gotten past the introductory rule, the rules are more nuanced, complete with subsections. Rule 2 is pretty important, so I’m going to break it up into a few different posts. Especially because I have recently had an infraction on this particular rule.
Rule 2 – He owns my body. The following activities require explicit direction and/or permission as defined below. For the purposes of the rules, sex will hereafter be defined to include intercourse, anal sex and oral sex. Masturbation includes any self-stimulation, whether that involve hands or toys.
Rule 2.1 – He is in control of when I have sex. I will not engage in any form of sex or masturbation without explicit permission from him. Any sex or masturbation that occurs without permission will have consequences.
This rule has evolved. It started with a basic rule about orgasm control (to be discussed in a subsequent post). But given recent developments and some evolving preferences, this first part of the rule was born. So, we have moved from standard D/S concepts, orgasm control, to a more comprehensive control. Rule 2.1 is a bitch I have to tell you. On paper we have an open relationship. In practice, at least my half of things, have trended recently to being fairly focused on him. But, the idea of having to ask permission before I have sex with someone else is pretty humiliating actually. I’ve a few times been in a position where things could have gotten sexy, but I have had a really hard time sending him that text or email asking, so I’ve just decided NOT TO DO IT. Requesting permission also is such a foreign concept when it comes to some ongoing partners (my ex for instance), that I recently screwed that whole thing up entirely.
I have a fairly close relationship with my ex. He and I still spend the night together once a week typically. Although, almost without exception, it is a non-sexy event. We just hang out, have dinner, maybe catch-up on TV we like or a movie. The familiarity is great and he is more of good friend now than a lover. However, the other morning, things got a bit sexy.
I was talking on the phone with my mom and he walked up to me, yanked off my pants and start fucking me while I was talking with her. I admit that I’m not incredibly into sex with my ex, but in the moment it was pretty exciting. I quickly hung-up the phone on my Mom and focused on the feeling of him deep inside me (it had been a while for the record). After a fairly short, but intense period of time, he came and I was left with his cum inside me. I didn’t cum myself and I didn’t think much of it.
Later that day I was hanging out with HIM (not my ex). We were walking around my neighborhood and I was casually telling the story of my day, including the unexpected sexy times. I was fairly cavalier. He wasn’t upset but paused my story a bit. “What did you say?” he asked calmy. I repeated the quick comment I had just made about sex with my ex. He replied, “That is an infraction.”
I felt immediate anxiety and realized exactly what he meant. I hadn’t asked permission. I started to negotiate and try to justify my behavior “But isn’t he granfathered in? We used to have sex without permission all the time. Recently even.”
“No.”
What makes the whole episode even worse is that I didn’t even stop to consider the rules. I just went right ahead. Now arguably, my ex took control of the situation pretty clearly, but even still I had the sex, went about my day, talked about the sex casually and didn’t even pause to evaluate whether this behavior was allowed.
So that makes this incident my most recent infraction (#23) and at the moment I am not sure what the punishment will be. But I am concerned and nervous about it.
Sufficed to say, I now have rule 2.1 and the permission requirements at the forefront of my mind.
In an upcoming post…a discussion of rule 2.2, including how long it has been since I have had an orgasm and how I’ve gotten very very very used not to orgasming frequently.
Weird Sexy Hijinks 