Friday.
At work, numb.
Saturday.
Tears streaming down my face, cum dripping down my thighs.
Sunday.
Sore back, a friends couch.
Monday.
The veranda, distraction.
Tuesday.
An odd unsatisfying meeting.
Wednesday.
Choking on his cock in the morning was the best part of my day.
I confess to you, my anonymous non-existent internet audience, that he has left me. And in so many ways, this is over. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to write about that, if anything. After all, I’m not writing here to connect with friends or write about my latest work day or fight with my Mom. I don’t owe you (whoever you are) anything. However, this has been, in some ways, the most honest thing I’ve ever done. So it seemed appropriate that I end the same way I started, with brutal, challenging, sometimes disturbing, honesty.
I also am not sure how I just “move on” from all this. I feel, in a word, owned by him. I ceded control over the dumbest, most intimate parts of my day to him. I find that I can’t even conduct routine tasks without constantly being reminded of his dominance over me.
I am of course free to do what I’d like now. Yet, rather than feeling relaxed or self-righteous, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. It seems wrong somehow to be doing these things all on my own. And I don’t recognize the person who does. In some ways, I suppose all this is akin to all the feelings anyone would feel when faced with an end they are not ready for. But, to me this feels deeply different. The emotional and sexual side of our relationship was so explicit. And all of this is US that I don’t merely feel sad or broken hearted…I feel…constantly confused, lost and alone.
So, we evolve. And this sexy blog becomes a time capsule. Maybe with a few more addendums.
Weird Sexy Hijinks 