Evolution

“I am going to remind you what you are missing” he said as he thrust his cock deep inside me.  Every inch of him inside me, every inch of him on top of me.  I felt panicked desperation as I realized what was about to happen.  “No, no no no please”  I cried incoherently.  He looked down at me grimly, and without saying anything else, he rolled over grabbing the blanket as he turned away from me.  I could barely contain myself as I lay there empty, shaking and moaning.

There is of course…some background.

The last time I had an orgasm was on August 10th. The last time we had sex that involved any kind of penetration was at least two weeks ago – perhaps a bit longer actually.  And I have to tell you, that August 10th orgasm was not great.  I was forced to masturbate while wearing the punishment panties on my head.  If that sounds to you like a combination of hilarious, humiliating and really really unsatisfying…you’d have the right idea.

The next time I am allowed to have sex with him, or any contact with his penis, is on September 13th.  I jokingly coined the phrase “penis vacation” when all this first came up and at the time that seemed like a charming, silly way to refer to what is a fairly extreme measure.  There is a lot I could say about the how and the why of all this, but what I’d really like to talk about is the hot non-sex I had this weekend.  In fact, that is all I’ve been thinking about today.

How did not getting fucked and not getting to cum get so goddamned hot?  And that is not even a clear way to phrase it.  It some ways, this is a worn out tale, denial is sexy, temptation is sexy, and if you’re me, humiliation and submission are sexy.

But,  I felt like last night was this terrible dark provocative revelation.   I deeply want him to have this level of control over my body and this is not a game.

Is it possible that I want this more than a good fuck or an orgasm?   That I need this from him?

It might be.